Are you laughing yet? Because I just peed my pants!

Many thanks to 2nd-favorite-fan-of-mine-across-the-Atlantic for his contributions. (Unfortunately, we have ceased all communication because I am afraid you will think he is funnier than I am and wish you were reading his blog, instead. Dear reader, trust me, he's a jerk in real life. Also, he's horribly disfigured. Not the kind of person you'd want to hang around with.)

But, speaking of inappropriate voiding, which book do you think would be most likely to piss its pants easily once it got laughing hard?




I have a feeling that The Autobiography of Benjamin Franklin would just let it all go. A good sense of humor can sometimes be a dangerous thing.

And, now, for the final post compliments of 2nd-favorite-fan-of-mine-across-the-Atlantic:

Which book, having discovered you midway through a suicide attempt, would sigh, shrug its shoulders and offer to help?

The Little Engine that Could by Watty Piper.

Which book would be most likely to think twice before lending you a dollar for a beer [...]

while at the same time would happily sleep on your couch and take a sh*t in your toilet but doesn't flush it properly and then there's just sh*t in your toilet and you're a dollar down on the whole deal?

Middlemarch by George Eliot

(post compliments of 2nd-favorite-fan-of-mine-across-the-Atlantic)

Which book would call on the phone, say "I can't talk for long, as I've got to go to work," and then just ramble on nonsensically [...]

and keep you talking for ages until you just want to scream "Get off my f***ing phone!" ?



William Faulkner's Absalom, Absalom!

This post brought to you by 2nd-favorite-fan-of-mine-across-the-Atlantic. Think about it, people; he has got a point here.

Outraged fan of this blog speaks out!

"I'm a long time listener but first time caller to your programme and I want to know what's going on? Has it really been 7 months since I was asked to consider which book would have the sexiest hidden tattoo? (Incidentally, it's Rabelais' Pantagruel, but believe me, you don't want to know where it's located.) What about an update for your legions of desperate (albeit wholly unvocal) fans?"

---taken from an email I received from a friend, who shall hereafter be referred to as 2nd-favorite-fan-of-mine-across-the-Atlantic

***

Dear 2nd-favorite-fan-of-mine-across-the-Atlantic,

I don't know what to say, other than: I suck. I do. Really, I am a terrible person. People have been telling me this for years, but did I listen? I'm not sure I even know how to change, but, by golly, I *will* try to resurrect this blog. For the sake of the children.

I will begin shortly (you can check back later this evening, in fact) by posting a suggestion or two of yours.

Toodles,
dlb